Blairwatch Competition

Statesmanship with Sensitivity: How to Win Friends and Influence People by Doing What God and Little Maddie Would Have Wanted

I know what it won't be called... "Forgive me for I have sinned. This book is my confession." Otherwise, the next best thing would be for it to be printed on soft and absorbent paper, with each page perforated along the spine.

I did it my way(in Hebrew).

It has to be

Jam and Jerusalem

“Bribery: The Art of Seduction”

“Me, Myself and I”

“Mein Kampf”

“Poofs, Poodles and Persia”

“Well, Y’Know…”

Tales From the Brother Grin
The English Mental Health Patient
Gone With the Spin
Vanity Blair

I listen to too much I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue..

War & peace, the new ways.
Try, try again, If you don't succeed, Spin,
How to spin bad news.

'My Life and Hard Times - the search for Truth" 

"To Poodle Or Not To Poodle - That Is The Question"

"Is This A Poodle I See Before Me"

"My Life As A Poodle"

etc etc

"The Hand of History"

Bought and sold for English gold:
Such a parcel of rogues in a nation.

Come on guys. The whole Lockerbie can of worms is being opened, and strangely a "terrorist bomb" is diffused in london, which is buryin the Lockerbie story. In a few days, who knows, another Zawhri / Bin Laden tape.

Come on lads, on your bikes. You on holiday or what?!

With Morality Defeated.

Kat on a hot tin roof.

Who Dares Wins, Hence my resignation.

How about :

"Diary of a Nobody" ?

Not quite on-topic, I know, but since our Tone was one of the greatest rock musicians of his generation when at Oxford, how about this title for a song :

"I'm nothing but a hound dog" ?

How about :

"Diary of a Nobody" ?

How to be a complete tosser and not know it.

How to survive living with an ugly lawyer.

I didn't do it...

How I screwed the country part 1 ... the early years 

Blair and the Wicked Witch Project....

Of course the Pope asked Me for an audience !! (Big sincere grinning smiley picture underneath)

GoldieSmith and the Three Blairs

(co-authored by the Metropolitan Police and George Orwell)

Downing Street Memoirs

"Confessions of a Despicable Warmongering Cunt"

Apologies to Arthur Miller...

Death of a Salesman.

Decline and Fall

Israel and I

Labour's Love Lost

Well the answer is so obvious, I really can't understand why I didn't figure it out sooner. Of course, given Mr Blair's retiring modesty it has to be:-

The Greatest Story Ever Told!

"What did you during the war daddy?"

Democracy my part in its downfall

"Sex Me Up"

"Spinning Around"

"Honey, I Bombed Iraq!"

"Truth : Who Needs It?"

"My Struggle" (might not go down too well in Europe ...)

"Democracy : Spin On This" (Mrs Hitman's suggestion)

"War. What Is It Good For?" (Mrs Hitman's suggestion)

"Peerages Catalogue : Autumn/Winter 2007"

Don't you mean:

"The Greatest Tory Ever Sold"?

"Denial, an Egyptian River"

"Denial, an Egyptian River"

Memories of a psychopath.

Memories of a psychopath.

What Did You Do During the War Daddy? Fuck! How Many Times Must I Repeat, I Started  the Fucking Thing§

The Secret of My Success: A Cunning Array of Stunts

Holiday Reading 2008

Tony Blair: The Desert Futz

Tony Blair: How Do I Piss Thee Off, Let Me Count The Ways

Tony Blair: So Sorry George - But We'll Always Have Bagdad

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Acquiescence on the Western Front

The Campbell Years

All the World's my stage and all the men & women merely payers.

Machiavelli, me and other pretty straight kind of guys

A sufferer's guide to Pinnochio nasal syndrome

Lie less in Gaza

Method acting in 45 minutes

101 things to do as a narcissistic sociopath

Contempt, an anthology
Dubbya & my ring-piece, the truth hurts
Marrying Medusa, why I did it
Meglomania & Moi, a lovers guide
HypnoFrog, the professionals guide to blowing smoke up an entire nations arse
Why I'm such a complete and utter fucking cunt, a confession
Getting neo-conned, a bloody legacy
The Cabinet Years, larf I nearly pissed myself
Whelk stalls I have run, a retirement plan
Why I studied law, fucking whelk stall owners
Whelk stalls, why PFI is such good value for money
Gordon is a Moron, the fugly shit
Why the Pope should bang Liz up the tradesmans, an opinion
Useless legislation, an addiction
History - I shit it
Why God will let me wash the countless pints of innocent blood off my wicked hands

The Working Class can Kiss Their Arse .................. I Shafted the F*****g Lot at Last!

by Lord Blair

"Kinda Pretty, Kinda Straight"

A Message of Mass Instruction: This Book Can Be Read in 45 Minutes

 Blairism: The Last Dribble of Thatcherism Down the Trouserleg of British Politics

Titles for Blair's book

1.- Brown's Puppet : not me 

2.- Nightmare on Downing Street

3.- My Democratic Delusion

Titles for Blair's book

1.- Brown's Puppet : not me 

2.- Nightmare on Downing Street

3.- My Democratic Delusion

Trust Me, I'm a Prime Minister.

1984.5
My Couch and National Policy
Details - who needs them
Oh come on let me slime you, you know you want it
A life without effective opposition
I'm Teflon Tone - f**k you
Fat Kids & Playing Fields, how to form effective policy

Death of a Salesman

Death of a Salesman

He could do a whole series.

The Dummies Guide to....

1. Warmongering in the Middle East
2. Being Prime Minister (dedicated to my good friend Gordon)
3. Being the 1st UK President (dedicated to my loving master George)
4. Antiterrorism, Terrorism and Poddledog Tails